Wednesday 10 June 2015

Urban Dictionary

Urban Heat (n):    the state of an individual’s body perceived as having or generating a relatively high degree of warmth.

Or the state of the city of London as soon as temperatures reach the early twenties in Celsius.


Don't freak out, please, this is August, not May or June

Let us be clear about a simple fact: heat is not just an urban phenomenon. Countryside-dwelling folk experience it too. Seaside residents also get to have their share of pleasant, warm weather. But those living in metropolises get to see a completely different mise en scène as soon as the first signs of summer arrive.

As Exhibit A, Urban Dictionary brings you the temperatures that swept through the Big Smoke in recent days. Although “swept through” is the wrong phrase here. It was more like they landed gently on the delicate skin of the denizens of London. However, the reaction was, as it usually is, the same as in previous years. A Miami-like state of mind takes over and for the next few days for as long as the temperatures remain hovering above the early 20s, people go about their business as if they lived in Florida and not in Barnet.

The most conspicuous sign of urban heat is the sudden appearance of convertibles all over the city. The welcome presence of sunshine provides the perfect background for rolling that roof down, turning up the volume of the music and driving around in one’s undies. Or similar. This is the Florida effect Urban Dictionary most dislikes. Once it is July and August there are more reasons to let it all hang out, but in bloody, still-freezing May? Or early June with its torrential downpours whose aftermath usually leaves a fresh breeze behind chilling your you-know-whats? No, sorry, count Urban Dictionary out of that.

At the same time Urban Dictionary feels sympathy somewhat for those early-summer urban-heaters. It sees them trying to speed up around streets that are not suitable for speed. It joins them in their despair and disappointment. Therein lies the irony. This is London, what did you expect? Of course you’re bound to feel frustrated, urban-heater. You get the engine of your convertible nicely going, letting everyone in the vicinity know what type of car you are driving. You accelerate to the T-junction, turn right and off you go… until you get to the first set of traffic lights two-hundred yards hence. Then, you have to turn left, go around a bend, come to another T-junction, turn right on to a one-way road and just when you are about to accelerate you are hit by a sign saying that the maximum speed limit is 20mph. I do not expect you to respect it, after all, you never do, but I can see your frustration and your line of thought: if only I were in Miami or California or somewhere similar, a long, open motorway ahead of me, sun-kissed by round-the-year warm weather, then, I would be justified in wearing my denim cut-offs and vest, left hand resting nicely on the car window and right hand on the steering wheel. Ahh, bliss! But then, reality strikes: another set of traffic lights, followed by another one-way system.

The phenomenon of urban heat is contrary to the way London works. Even in suburbia you still get a very convoluted street layout. A-roads are the urban-heater’s best bet but the speed is usually limited to 50mph.

Still, 50mph is enough for you to rest your right arm on the car window and leave your left one on the steering wheel. Lean back and allow yourself to think you are in Miami or somewhere in California. Until you reach the next set of traffic lights or the sun goes in hiding. Then, you will probably wonder why on earth you left your hooded jumper/stretcher at home. After all, it is only May or June.

© 2015

Next Post: “Saturday Evenings: Stay In, Sit Up and Switch On”, to be published on Saturday 13th June at 6pm (GMT)

18 comments:

  1. Urban chill applies too. When the temperatures first start to fall people appear rugged up for Arctic expeditions - and then spend the day peeling off layers and losing them, or sweating....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Everything starts to strip down, from car to human, thinking they live in California indeed

    ReplyDelete
  3. I had a convertible once, for one year only, and, fortunately, it happened to be during my senior year in high school. It was a true "chick magnet," but it was a royal pain to keep the interior clean. Around here, it seems to me both men and women in the "over fifty" crowd are those most often seen driving convertibles. Mid-life crisis folks, I suspect.

    As for warm-weather attire, I dislike shopping and dislike it even more during summer months because so many choose to dress like they are at the beach instead of in a store .... or in a restaurant or a library or a school or a church or a medical clinic .... well, you get my drift. I guess I am a traditionalist and something of an adherent to the cliché, "clothes make the man."

    An enjoyable and astute post, CiL.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Ha. Urban heat and driving are a whole different story in New York City! Convertibles are not common here! k.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ha ha! And the problem with this kind of driving is that it only increases the greenhouse gas emissions and creates even more heat...

    I used to love speeding down a motorway with the hood down when I was young.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh for some real warmth. Here is deepest Wiltshire the sun is telling fibs. From the safety of my home it looks hot out there - a day for shorts and t-shirt and lounging about in the garden reading a book. But get out there and a bitter wind blows from the east and I scuttle back indoors to put a vest on ...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Here in the Midlands we've had sunshine without warmth.... and the girls have stripped off their outer layers and paraded around with goose-pimpled skin. It started on day one of May. Crazy. As for car drivers, only fifteen minutes ago I followed a guy who drove with one hand and hugged the roof with his free arm. Of course, his arm was bare. I dread to think what happened to him when he turned right.

    ReplyDelete
  8. What used to amaze me in Scotland is the way they would suddenly dress if the temperature ventured in the 60s. People would be wearing shorts and t-shirts as if there was a 'real' heat wave. In those kind of temperatures I still wear a sweater or have one handy.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I like summer in London - at least when the sun shines. There's usually a bit of greenery to retreat to. Did you ever hear a song called "Summer in the City"? it gives me that feeling even though it's not really a very good song.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Nah, thinking you're cruising down Sunset in LA won't help with the heat at all; Miami is no better. Think, instead, of walking or driving up or down the Oregon Coast, 60+degrees F. cool winds keeping mosquitoes and other insects in the hinter lands, not on your body or anywhere in your car. You are in true comfort, in or out of your car. Cubano, you and your family need to get out of town under these circumstances, as in catch a plane, go visit your blog mates somewhere else in the world. Wish you could be here.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Thank you all for your kind comments. Mid-20s the temperature here today, in Celsius, I mean Much better,. But still, the road layout of this crazy and beautiful city does not allow for speeding even if people still want to do it. I have sympathy for them... well, only just. You hear them revving up their engines, taking off and coming to a halt within a few hundred yards. :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I'd love some of your 20 degree C urban heat right now! We are having temps of 33-34 with heat indexes approaching 40.

    ReplyDelete
  13. hmmm... love me a bit of summer heat in the city - it changes the mood of a place even though it can be exhausting - i spent a frickin hot day last year sketching on portobello road in london and then walking across tower bridge close to midnite - still in just a t-shirt... it was just sooooo good

    ReplyDelete
  14. With all of those street lights, how are the young blokes supposed to get a good drag race going? (Just kidding.)

    Here, it's already pretty warm. In the high eighties and low nineties. But folks in Georgia don't need much of an excuse to put the tops down on their convertibles, or to strip down to skimpy clothing and flip-flops.Especially those flip-flops. A lot of people here wear them in the dead of winter, although if it gets cold enough, they MIGHT put on socks. (And isn't THAT a sight?!)

    ReplyDelete
  15. Can definitely agree with that. I work in the city and the block I work on is considered to be a wind tunnel. Great if you enjoy a cool breeze whipping past you at gale force velocity, horrible when that gale force breeze does absolutely nada for the 90F heat that said same block traps

    I'm very grateful for the area I call home. I live next to a small mountain, so no matter how hot it gets, I have enough shade and mountain breeze to make it tolerable.

    Father Nature's Corner

    ReplyDelete
  16. It's getting awfully humid here in NYC--a little ahead of schedule, I might add. The loud music and the convertibles are out and one of my neighbors got his old motorcycle out of mothballs, though it could be a rocket engine judging by the sound of it. And I've got to wait until tomorrow for my handy man to install the air conditioners. Stay cool...

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ah - yes - convertibles and loud music! Definitely a sign that the temperature has risen & that people are enjoying those long awaited lazy hazy days of summer!

    ReplyDelete
  18. Hi ACIL .. I had one of those years ago ... but now I love to be besides the seaside ... with the humid sea heat, convertibles we have too and then the dreaded motorbike - all petrol heads out with their noise volumes up ... ah well! I did enjoy mine yonks ago .. better keep quiet now .. cheers Hilary

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...