Wednesday, 12 February 2014

Let's Talk About...

... Vladimir Putin, one of the gayest (in a homosexual sense, although he might also lead a merry life, who knows?) dignitaries of the 21st century.

It is clear that Putin is in denial. That could go some way to explain all the anti-gay laws recently passed in his backyard, sorry, Russia. It has long been thought that in the privacy of his boudoir, the president lets his imagination run wild and the real Vladimir comes out of... oh, well, there’s no other way of putting it, is there? Comes out of his shell. Apparently one of his minions caught him once clad in Chelsea blue, including Samsung logo stuck on his chest, running around his room pretending to have scored a goal whilst from a nearby stereo a Cockney-accented choir screamed out: Stick Your Blue Flag Up Your A**e! West Ham supporters will recognise this chant as one of the many ways in which they serenade those who swear allegiance to the team based in SW6. It is not known where Putin’s loyalties lie, but what his servant, sorry, minister, did notice was how elated he became on hearing the final three words. The chant was on a loop, his official remembers, and the louder and more climaxing the voices became, the more Putin ran and the higher he jumped. The spectacle was similar to watching a performance of Kamarinskaya, but instead of the full orchestra, the butler, sorry again, the minister had to content himself instead with thousands of Eastenders belting out simultaneously: ...Up Your A**e!

After that Vladimir Putin went for a horse ride shirtless. And had his photo taken, of course.
A gay icon for our times?

Let’s talk about this über-macho of world politics. Putin, the Invincible, Vlad the Impaler (he is probably half-Romanian anyway. There’s probably some hidden great-great-great auntie somewhere along the line), Herr Judoka par excellence. All this points at Homo Super Masculinus, doesn’t it?

And yet...

I sense in Putin a perpetual sense of alienation. A feeling of estrangement from an ever-enclosing reality that refuses to go away. This creates a need that he can’t satisfy because... well, because he is a homo super masculinus and besides, isn’t the other side a gay conspiracy that wants to pervert the minds of the little ones? Aren’t they all paedophiles? But on his own and with Lyudmila at a safe distance, Putin can allow himself to lose that mask. Besides, even he must realise that gay people come in all guises. He, like many others, has probably mistaken “camp” for “homosexual”. Yes, some camp people are gay, but not all gays are camp. That is, I believe, what Vladimir is really afraid of. He is afraid that he might be a “normal” gay. Not a Village People impersonator or a disco fan. But someone who likes to go fishing (I’m sure that's Russian slang for “cruising”) and take his top off. And have more photos taken of his hairless torso.

Let’s talk about Vladimir Putin, probably the gayest politician nowadays. Let’s look beyond his tough-guy image. It’s just a mask. Deep inside, we know who you are, Vlad, and it’s OK, we understand. After all, you don’t even like Pussy... Riot.

© 2014

Next Post: “Sunday Mornings: Coffee, Reflections and Music”, to be published on Sunday 16th February at 10am (GMT)


  1. haha think you hit the ail on the head, he just doesn't want to admit it

  2. Awesome, Cuban -- and I don't think I've ever read a more racy post on your blog!

  3. Such a sad man. And such a shame that he sees attack as the very best form of defence. Against something which needs no defending. Or shouldn't.

  4. I had no idea, probably because I don't watch much television. I don't have my head in the sand but I'm fussy about what I watch and who I watch. Nevertheless it was interesting to read about Putin ... it was certainly an educational read. Fancy that!

  5. Great post - you made me laugh

    And still we dream of the day when someone's sexuality is only important to the person they choose to share a bed with!

  6. the man seems too big for the horse. :(

  7. Haha...a fabulous post...really made me laugh!

    And I totally agree with Jo...a person's sexuality really shouldn't matter to anyone, apart from the person they share their bed certainly doesn't to me! :)

  8. Ha ha... but no matter if he is gay or not, his oppressive tactics stink!

  9. gay or not..i find him scary..

  10. hahaha so true...its sad to have to live in denial like that...and try to push it all away with the laws.....i find him scary as well...

  11. Como dices los gays vienen en todas las formas, con lo cual dejarlos ir y que hagan su camino libre y natural como el cuerpo se lo pide.
    Un abrazo

  12. I agree. Ultra macho men are usually hiding something vulnerable abouth them. Ernest Hemmingway's wives always claimed that nobody can be as macho as Papa tried to be and there are signs that he really like manly things on a whole other level.

  13. En este pueblo (Chipiona) hay una frase que dice que cuánto más odio y más critica a un gay. es que más le pica el (aquí tendría que poner culo, pero no quiero parecer vulgar)
    Si él presume de hombría, también hay otro refrán castellano que dice: "Dime de lo que presumes y te diré de lo que careces"
    Para mí Putin es un impresentable, por lo de los gays y por otros muchos hechos de su vida política.


  14. I certainly think Putin must have a gay fanclub, all that posing around in the outdoors, taking part in manly pursuits...

    So yes you may be right

  15. Whenever I read a new headline generated from something Putin has said or done all I can think is we're a long way from Glasnost.

  16. Jajaja, sea gay o no, es un personaje que no me gusta, saludos, buen post.

  17. Thank you all for your kind comments. I'm sure Putin would also appreciate them. :-)

    Greetings from London.

  18. You made me laugh with this post. I don't know if he's hiding in the closet or not. He's certainly not hiding otherwise. That photo is evidently one of very many shirtless images of him.. shown rather regularly and mockingly on David Letterman. He is indeed rather scary.



Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...