Sunday 19 May 2013

Sunday Mornings:Coffee, Reflections and Music

Last week a man retired after working continuously at the same organisation for twenty-six years. In the process he won a clutch of awards, earned the respect of millions and put said organisation centre-stage at world level.

Last week a man retired after working continuously at the same organisation for twenty-six years. In the process he abused people verbally, ignored rules and even assaulted members of his team physically.

You’re not seeing double and I’m not going crazy. But forgive me if I fail to be moved by the sycophantic tributes that have flown in Alex Ferguson’s (“Sir” Alex Ferguson, my God, how could I forget?) direction since he announced he was stepping down as Manchester United manager.

A word of caution first, though. This is not a “disgruntled Chelsea fan from SW6” type of post. I am the first one to recognise that in a world as fickle and unpredictable as the world of football is, a head coach who has lasted at a club for more than a quarter of a century is a feat. And not a mean one, at that. In fact, I don’t think that Alex’s tenure as United manager will be equalled, let alone surpassed any time soon. But it’s not his stature as a sports tactician I am questioning but the example he has set up as a man.

As Laurie Penny said recently à propos of Diane Abbot‘s speech to the thinktank Demos, there’s a crisis of masculinity in the UK now. Young men feel ignored and frustrated and tend to lash out as a consequence. There are many reasons for this state of affairs: unemployment, lack of prospects, confusion about the role of men in society. The list goes on. And yet in the midst of this crisis we choose to celebrate a man who has been known for flying off the handle at players (both his and others’) and referees. If there’s a football manager that typifies male aggression and bullying, Sir Alex Ferguson is that person.

I’m not making a scapegoat of “Fergie”. But I find it ironic that broadsheet papers that regularly carry reports on how domestic violence has increased, the many rape centres that have been closed and the effect that certain pop lyrics have on early sexualisation amongst teenagers and children, choose to bend themselves backwards to a man who didn’t have any second thoughts about throwing a boot at one of his players. Said player ended up with stitches on his eyebrow. You can still acknowledge how good the man was as a football manager, but there’s no need for special Sunday supplements.

As chance would have it, a week after Sir Alex retired, David Beckham, one of Manchester United former stars, also decided to hang his boots. Having played for the Red Devils, Real Madrid, LA Galaxy and Paris St-Germain, Beckham is living proof of how modern football has welcomed globalisation with open arms. And deep pockets. There’s another side, though, to the Beckham character. The key word to understanding this other side is the word “ambassador”. He was an ambassador during London’s bid to host the Olympics last year. He was an ambassador during the games and he will continue to be an ambassador during his “retirement”. Lord Sebastian Coe will make sure of that. And you don’t become a high-ranked spokesman of British sport by being boorish. What’s set Beckham apart from the Fergies of this world is his sportsmanship on and off the field.

Brand “Beckham” is the yin to Ferguson’s yang. Whilst David never had many difficulties in showing his more delicate side (remember that sarong?), Ferguson stopped having post-matches interviews with the BBC after the latter made a series of allegations about Alex’s son, Jason, a football agent, in a documentary in 2004. So, basically, a broadcaster has to ask permission from Sir Alex first before it does its duty. Beckham symbolised at some point the early noughties’ new masculinity, comfortable in its femininity. On the other hand Ferguson, typifying old-fashioned male chauvinism, attributed this attitude to David’s marriage to Posh Spice and his joining the celebrity world. Beckham was soon off-loaded to Real Madrid.

We could carry on like this forever but the problem as I see it is that there is still too much machismo around. Sir Alan Sugar (the boss in the television programme The Apprentice) expects contestants to kowtow to him, and if they don’t, he will point his finger at them (which is rather rude, by the way) and and let them know that “You’re fired”. No wonder men are confused. Between women’s achievements such as the pill, abortion rights and a more inclusive job market and the eradication of the idea of men as sole bread-winners, it is easy to see why the so-called “stronger sex” is a bit wobbly at the knees. And yet, this contrasts with what we see on our television sets and what we read about in the papers. Last year David Haye, former heavyweight champion, got into a famous brawl with his fellow British boxer Dereck Chisora after the latter lost to Vitali Klitschko. The ugly scenes were captured on live telly. However, months  later Haye was allowed to get into the ring to fight Dereck Chisora in a match that resembled more two deer rutting. Meanwhile our boys are watching... and learning.

If we are to address this “crisis of masculinity”, the first course of action would have to be to see masculinity as a wide-ranging concept and not defined by phallus size, number of female partners or performance in bed. Alcohol/drug misuse and poor sexual education would have to be reclassified as high priority. Father-friendly parenting classes would have to become part of the long-term vision, not just for Number 10, but also for local councils. Full front-pages dedicated to boot-throwing managers would be relegated to the back pages. And under no circumstances would there special Sunday supplements.

© 2013

Next Post: “Lets’ Talk About...”, to be published on Wednesday 22nd May at 11:59pm (GMT)


22 comments:

  1. Yes, yes and a few more yeses. And please, can we stop rewarding public identities for their offensive behaviour. It sets a very ugly precedent and there are enough around without adding to them.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Really a fascinating commentary this morning. I've always liked David Beckham. I am not familiar with Alex Ferguson. I do agree with the previous commenter that we need to stop rewarding people for poor behavior. We've had examples in this country. Jerry Sandusky, the Pennsylvania State football coach who was allowed to continue coaching despite others knowing of his sexual abuse of players....as long as he kept winning...and as long as the outside world didn't know. And recently here there was a university basketball coach let go for abusive behavior to his players. Time to put a stop to all this kind of brutality when it FIRST happens...but it seems those abused (even in the sports world) live with a kind of fear. Not unlike that of an abused spouse in a marriage perhaps.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh, I'm so with you on this! How can our young men act responsibly when the media only gives them so many bad examples...

    ReplyDelete
  4. A very big YES on this!
    The media can be an extremely corrosive thing at times...making it appear OK for abuse to continue (in some cases even making it seem glamorous).
    I think people in the public eye should understand how much power they wield - and should act accordingly.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Yep have to agree, people need to wise the hell up and praise a flea. At least they are known blood suckers, and stop praising such idiots like they are superstar truckers.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Masculinity and femininity are all on the line, re-defined and re-positioned. The world around us has changed; and our ability to navigate is dependent on how we treat and support each other as partners, colleagues, lovers, friends.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I know nothing of football (soccer), Cuban, but I found your reflections incredibly interesting and informative. And I do love that Beckham --

    ReplyDelete
  8. Many thanks for your comments.

    By the way, Beckham was never a saint when he played football (World Cup '98 against Argentina, remember? He lashed out). But overall, when I see the Joey Bartons of this world, I'm glad there's a Beckham, inarticulate as he can be sometimes, though! :-)

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I love Beckham always and I know he isnt a saint!
    I dont like his wife :(

    ReplyDelete
  10. Not being a Man U fan, I was never burdened with any admiration of Sir Alex Ferguson. He always seemed like a horrible bully to me.

    Beckham, on the other hand, is universally liked. Good people usually are.

    Jai

    ReplyDelete
  11. Beckham retiring made the front page of the New York Times. I appreciated your thoughtful reflection on masculinity. Sorry to be so slow to visit - I'm mostly offline revising my MS this month.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Very thought provoking as usual. I heard about Beckham but not about the other man.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Amen to all of that. The man was -- and no doubt still is -- a bully. That is how he worked and how he achieved his results.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Agree with Dave and all - and at least you guys (or your guys) aren't also toting guns! It's just terrible to add that to a culture of machismo. k.

    ReplyDelete
  15. I don't know a lot about soccer, but this is a good comparison.
    Liked the video...haven't heard that song in a long time.

    ReplyDelete
  16. amen brother...i think we really need to re-right the ship...stop rewarding those that drag down the moral compass...i think we have confused the definition of what it means to be a man...or lost it...you know...

    ReplyDelete
  17. I must admit while I was viewing naked pictures of Beckham, the word Ambassador did not jump to mind, but ;o. I do wish Posh would eat something.

    Public opinion is so easily manipulated. I've read vague, moronic position papers put out by this or that demi-in-the-know person & then shortly thereafter heard people I thought would know better quoting those positions verbatim. Often we seem to wait for others to tell us what we think or what we want. I recently heard someone use the term: Endurance of male mastery. It sounded like the name of a cheap porno movie, but no one questioned the guy until I did.~Mary

    ReplyDelete
  18. And, though I very much like the header picture, I loved the old one. It was a real beauty.

    ReplyDelete
  19. yes, yes, yes, real male-hood is defined much different than some macho abusive behavior...

    ReplyDelete
  20. well, football isn´t one of my favourite things.

    Seems like sunday mornings is your time for reflection and blogging. :)

    ReplyDelete
  21. Many thanks for your comments. Not surprised to read about the "Beckham factor"! :-) He certainly made us, "metrosexuals", feel more at ease.

    Greetings from London.

    ReplyDelete
  22. What a fascinating post! My scorpio hubby was also digging into the modern masculinity issue yesterday and you have summed it up brilliantly. I never really thought about Beck's brand of masculinity but you are so right. He's comfortable with his feminine side and that balance is important for all modern men.

    ReplyDelete

LinkWithin

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...