Wednesday 4 February 2015

Urban Dictionary

Summer stripper (n)

It is a contradiction of which Urban Dictionary is well aware that at the time of writing they are predicting the first snowfall in London. And yet, the phenomenon of the summer stripper is so interesting – in any season – that to ignore it is, in footballing terms, the equivalent of missing an open goal.

The summer stripper is a species that, as the name indicates, comes out as soon as the temperature turns warmer. The “summer” part is a red herring, however. The summer stripper can appear as early as March when spring sends a thousand flowers blossoming. There have been (unconfirmed) sightings of summer strippers in their almost-birthday-suits in January and February on the rare occasions when temperatures have hit double figures.

You always know when you are in the presence of a summer stripper, even when they are fully clothed. It is their ebullient, outgoing, fearless personality. They are one card short of a full exhibitionist deck, minus the psychiatric element and with added eccentricity. The summer stripper is the last person on earth to deny themselves a pleasure, whether it be allowed or restricted. Boundaries – especially those in urban areas – are to be transgressed.

Let us be clear about one key issue: the summer stripper is harmless. Also, his/her act of stripping in public is almost unconscious, although it is widely accepted that there are many examples of narcissistic summer strippers. Of all ages. Let us emphasise that last element. All ages. Summer stripping can be done as young as eighteen and as old as eighty. All the summer stripper needs is a public place in which to display her/his “wares”. This is also important: the summer stripper has an uncanny ability to convey nudity without actually taking all their clothes off. Nearly all, but not all.

The summer stripper’s habitat consists mainly of public places such as local parks (or better known ones like Green Park or Hyde Park in central London), pubs, supermarkets, bus stops and main thoroughfares. Wherever there is a space to be seen in when the temperature hovers in the late teens (it used to be early twenties, but that’s so 2003 now) you’re bound to find a summer stripper. They come in various colours, they do, summer strippers: from milky, Antarctic white to salon-tanned orange. Some summer strippers beef up during the months of December, January and February in the same way hamsters cache their food for winter. By the time they come out in late March, early April, puffed-up, muscled and with bodywork inked down their arms, they are ready to give you a show. Not that you asked for one, but they will still entertain you.

Urban future?
The perennial battle inside the summer stripper is between her/himself and the achievement of a perfect tan without the lines. Hard task to pull off as no matter how skimpy the bikini or minute the trunks are, they still have to keep them on. Or else they are arrested for public indecency. Some people will correct Urban Dictionary and say that the summer stripper’s mere presence in a public place is indecent enough. But as Urban Dictionary averred previously, summer strippers are harmless. You could even claim that the older species is a sort of crusader, raising awareness of the importance of the human body in all its different phases: from the aforementioned washboard tummy to the wrinkly chest. You could perhaps think otherwise: you have seen the older species in a mankini.

As our planet gets warmer and seasons play up (the summer stripper is not specific of just the one country or hemisphere, but she/he has a preference for climates where there are four defined seasons, the better to stand out) Urban Dictionary predicts that the summer stripper will be a more familiar presence. Who knows, maybe in a few years Father Christmas will not be delivering presents wearing a red and white thick coat but a mankini. That is one wager I would be willing to have.

© 2015

Next Post: “Sunday Mornings: Coffee, Reflections and Music”, to be published on Sunday 8th February at 10am (GMT)

25 comments:

  1. awkward....those banana slings are....awkward....
    still too early...might get frostbite in the wrong place...you know...ha...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are, mate, believe me. Not that I've tried, mind you! :-)

      Greetings from London.

      Delete
  2. Sometimes those of us living in deepest Witlshire miss out on all the fun! I think the great and the good of the Shires could do with a stripping shock occasionally!

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    Replies
    1. Yup, probably the reason why I wouldn't leave my urban patch just yet. :-)

      Greetings from London.

      Delete
  3. I suspect that Santa in a mankini would be a wonderful antidote (perhaps even a cure) to the overconsumption which currently defines the season...

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  4. I can assure you that this member of the older species will NOT be taking off her clothes but she wouldn't mind seeing Santa in a new garb. Actually, if you could see some of the females where I live you would think it was summer already... it seems the style of dress is less rather than more in the winter months.

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  5. Haha...this really made me smile :)
    Here in deepest Hampshire we only very rarely witness this fascinating phenomenon...so when we do he/she never fails to draw a huge crowd! And in the hottest months, even I have been known to strip down to mini shorts and bikini tops (but only very occasionally) in public!!
    Yes...the summer stripper is a rapidly increasing species...;)

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  6. lmao seeing such strippers around would be rather umm interesting. For the entertainment value of seeing what the prudes here in North America would say. Santa better not have a belly if he dresses like that, be scary then

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  7. Francamente no sé si quiere broncearse o hacer una demostración de su cuerpo. De todo hay en este mundo.
    Un abrazo

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  8. I could not stop thinking of other uses for Santa's helpers' hats! ;-)

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  9. Being a North American prude, from my perspective it comes down to a matter of class and good taste. Some people have them; some do not, and probably have a “mental dead zone” in that regard. What a person does in private is one thing; what "he" does in public goes far beyond individual narcissism and self-indulgence.... at least, it should.

    As my daughter would have said when she was a little child of the man in the photograph: "He's too dumb to know he's dumb."

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    Replies
    1. I love your daughter's saying. Very clever.

      Greetings from London.

      Delete
  10. hahah... we once had a neighbor who was sunbathing naked in her garden next to our house - the thing is that everyone who walked on the street could see her - she just didn't care at all

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  11. LOL, haven't heard of "summer stripper" before... The closest we have to something like that here is people wearing t-shirts and bermudas on a "balmy" minus 8 deg Celsius day... And in summer one might see some hairy shoulders in flimsy tank tops...
    Mankini... didn't know that word either! Now I know what that guy was wearing last summer on the beach at Punta Cana... :-) :-) :-)

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  12. I must say that when I lived in London I never did see anything like that. Though that outfit is somewhat daring and may perhaps show more than some people would consider appropriate in a public setting.

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    1. I don't know how long ago that was but nowadays the minute temeperatures in London get warmer people start shedding layers of clothing as if they were snakes shedding their old skin. :-)

      Greetings from London.

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  13. Oh no - please say Santa won't wear a manikin!

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  14. This is a good reason to move back to where it is cold all the time... Funny post and photo and I am reminded of a time where I had hiked into a hot spring in California and my peaceful soak (with a bathing suit) was disturbed by the arrival of extremely obese pair who immediately stripped off...

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  15. that image made me laugh. but I hope I don´t have to see it in real life.

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  16. I assume what that guy's (almost) wearing in the picture is a mankini? Geez, and I thought speedos were bad. That thing is worse. Much, much worse. (And it couldn't possibly be comfortable! Not for the wearer or the poor observer...)

    Happy weekend!

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  17. Thanks for your comments. Obviously the mankini in the picture is a case of poetic hyperbole on the part of the blog author. Still, I have heard of guys who have gone close to wearing something similar in a park and have been advised against it. Let's see what summer 2015 brings us! :-) Or, who knows before summer is even here.

    Have a great weekend.

    Greetings from London.

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    Replies
    1. I meant "urban hyperbole". Sorry :-)

      Greetings from London.

      Delete
  18. Oh dear! I think this is more of a European phenomenon than American--at least it really is not that common in NYC. Occasionally, you see women in bikinis in parks on summer days--and if you go on certain famous streets or piers (Christopher St. Pier is the one I am thinking of) you may see men. And on Gay Pride day etc. But really, it is not so common I think--well, maybe not. Now I am hesitating as I think of tube tops on the subway! By tube tops I do not mean subway tops! But all quite funny.

    For my part, I am someone who is very modest in my regular dress, but I do confess to a great deal of private swimming in all temperatures in country ponds and streams! The water is super cold even in the summer--really you need to be able to dry off extremely quickly! (Ha!) Thanks for the smile! And thanks for your very kind comments at my place. k. (Manicddaily--I put that in case blogger makes me use my other ID).

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  19. I hope I don't quite cross that line, although here in Waikiki we sometimes wear very little YEAR round!


    ALOHA from Honolulu
    ComfortSpiral
    <3

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  20. Santa in a mankini ...oh no ...LOL
    I saw some guys in some pretty (well, maybe not so pretty...ha,ha !) tiny bathing suits while on my trip to Cancun ...

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