Sunday Mornings: Coffee, Reflections and Music

In almost three years as a blogger, I have come into contact with myriad people from different corners of the globe. Some have stood the test of time and are still in regular contact; others have departed, maybe to greener pastures. Some pop in, every now and then, like the friends we have in real life. Then, there are the ones who leave an indelible mark on you.

Renee, the blogger behind the 'Circling My Head' blog was in the latter category. She has sadly died of cancer at the age of fifty-three.


In vain have I tried to look for Renee's first comment on my blog. I couldn't find it, and that's because she was an omnipresent figure. Whether it was from her cyber-house, or commenting on other people's online posts, Renee was an inspiring woman. And as a mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, aunt, wife and friend, she drew us, fellow bloggers, into her rich family life. The way she wrote about her husband, Wahid, her children or her siblings will forever be etched in my mind because of the candour and affection in her posts. There are a handful of words, amongst many others, I could use to describe her and these were also terms I used many times when responding to her articulate columns: witty, humourous, strong.

I'm not the type of person who throws compliments around lazily. I mean what I say most of the time and say what's on my mind. If I praise a post or a picture, that's because I've felt touched. It seems to me, from the distance that this medium provides, that Renee and I shared that trait. Her online entries of 'Cancer – 50 Essential Things to Do', a book by Greg Anderson, were obligatory reading for anyone who, like me, was not necessarily acquainted with the brutal reality this condition represents. Her language, when referring to the illness that ultimately killed her, was blunt and very often beautifully honest. Here's a post from Wednesday 28th October, 2009:

'A Lump Is Not Necessary To Have Breast Cancer No.2

Since October is Breast Cancer month, and I unfortunately know that bitch too well, I would like you to read a post I did on Inflammatory Breast Cancer in February, 2008.

http://circlingmyhead.blogspot.com/2008/02/lump-is-not-necessary-to-have-breast.html

Know what you know and know what you need to know. Had I only seen this I would have known what I already knew.'

Likewise, Renee was a lover of all things beautiful. And you knew that from the moment you entered her blog with that marvellous header and the illustrations she regularly posted every week. That love for creativity influenced her own writing. One of the most heart-rending posts I've ever read in my life was the one about the bats tormenting her:

'Did I tell you that I have a colony of bats who hang upside down in my guts? Well I do.

All day long they fly around and hit the walls of whatever is inside those guts. Bang, bang, bang, BANG, BANG, bang, bang……..BANG, BANG…..

It is not comfortable to say the least.You know it is hard to maintain my girlish figure of 217 pounds and right now I am worried about doing so as I am always starving and can’t get things down my throat...' You can read the rest of this post here.

In January I thought of contacting Renee about a piece that had come out in The Guardian newspaper the weekend before. It was an article written by US author Barbara Ehrenreich where the controversial essayist laid into the 'positive thinking' brigade within the breast cancer movement. What's your take on it, Renee? I wanted to ask her, but never got the chance to, because her own mother was dying at the time and it would have been most inappropriate to approach her with such a trivial question. I wonder sometimes what her answer would have been, given the fact that her blog was so vibrant and welcoming, that her attitude to life was a big 'Fuck You Cancer, You'll Probably Take Me in the End, But You Won't Beat Me Whilst I'm Still Alive!' (That swear word is dedicated to you, too, Renee, with utmost respect). Barbara talks about the tone that surrounds breast cancer activism: upbeat, stoic and cheerful. I can't help feeling that Renee didn't fit any category. She was a totally unique person. Read her post published on Thursday 28th January and you will find a person deeply in tune with her aesthetic side. And although many people don't think too much of awards given to bloggers by other bloggers, in Renee's case every single one was justified.

It's only fitting that I finish my little tribute today to this remarkable woman with a clip of another equally extraordinary artist, Lhasa de Sela, who died on 1st January 2010, at the age of thirty-seven of breast cancer. You can read her obituary here. This, I don't need to say, is not how I would have preferred to write about cancer, and specifically breast cancer, but by remembering Renee and Lhasa, I know I am contributing to raising awareness of this terrible, devastating plague. May they always be remembered. After all, those bats cannot win all the battles.



Next Post: 'Feminism: Has It Gone Wrong?', to be published on Wednesday 24th March at 11:59am (GMT)

Food, Music, Food, Music, Food, Music, Food, Music, Ad Infinitum...

This is a little nod to my vegetarian readers and fellow bloggers. Thanks to Sami Tamimi and Yotam Ottolenghi, the chef/patron of Ottolenghi in London. This recipe was first published in The Guardian's Weekend supplement.

Serves four to six.

Chickpea, tomato and bread soup

1 large onion, sliced

1 medium fennel, sliced

About 120ml olive oil

1 large carrot, peeled, cut along the centre and sliced3 sticks celery, sliced

1 tbsp tomato paste

250ml white wine

1 tin Italian plum tomatoes

1 tbsp chopped fresh oregano

2 tbsp chopped fresh parsley

1 tbsp picked fresh thyme leaves

2 tsp caster sugar

2 bay leaves

1 litre vegetable stock

Salt and black pepper

160g stale sour dough bread (crust removed)

400g cooked chickpeas

4 tbsp basil pesto

1 handful fresh basil leaves

Preheat the oven to 180C/350F/gas mark 4. Put the onion and fennel in a big pot, add three tablespoons of oil and sauté on medium heat for four minutes. Add the carrot and celery, and cook for four minutes, just to soften the vegetables, stirring occasionally. Stir in the tomato paste and cook, stirring, for a minute. Add the wine and let it bubble away for a minute or two. Add the tomatoes and their juices, herbs, sugar, bay, stock and season. Bring to a boil, then leave to simmer gently for 30 minutes.

While you wait, break the bread into rough chunks with your hands, toss with two tablespoons of oil and some salt, scatter in a roasting tray and bake for 10 minutes, until dry. Remove from the oven and set aside.

About 10 minutes before you want to serve, put the chickpeas in a bowl and crush them a little with a potato masher or the end of a rolling pin - you want quite a rough texture, with some chickpeas left whole and others completely mashed. Add the chickpeas to the soup and leave to simmer for five minutes. Finally, stir in the toasted bread, and cook for another five minutes.

Taste the soup, and add salt and pepper liberally. Pour the hot soup into shallow soup bowls, place a spoonful of pesto in the centre, drizzle with plenty of olive oil and finish with a generous scattering of freshly shredded basil.

Playlist to go with this dish

Amel Larrieux - Get Up

Esbjörn Svensson Trio - When God Created The Coffeebreak

Emiliana Torrini - Sunny Road

Mercan Dede - Istanbul

Talking Heads - Slippery People

Lhasa De Sela - Who By Fire

Copyright 2008

Road Songs (Vivace)

This is the third and final instalment in this three part-series. Basically it is about how good female drivers are (yes, they are, stop rolling your eyes, please!) and how a lot of female musicians break down barriers and conventions without having to resort to short skirts and bikinis.

For the first and second parts, click here and here.

Even someone like me, who enjoyed the whole 'Age Ain't Nothing But a Number' album when it first came out, was surprised by the success of the single 'Try Again' when it was released. Aaliyah was an all-round performer and master (or is that mistress?) of her own destiny. An untimely death did not allow us to taste what should have been the best of a brilliant music career. Nostalgic.

Monica Molina has what is commonly known as pedigree. She is the daughter of the famous flamenco singer Antonio Molina and her sister is actress Angela Molina. However she has made it in the difficult world of Spanish pop with a very peculiar voice and very poetic compositions. Mellow.

Punchy, defiant and in-your-face. That's how I describe Tori Amos. I like the way she bashes those black and white keys in wild abandon. Her voice teems with self-confidence and bravado. Challenging.

Cesaria Evora. Sodade. That's all. If you don't know what I mean by that, you should be tried for crimes against music. Cesaria Evora. Sodade. That. Is. All. Majestic.

I'm taking my freedom/Pulling it off the shelf/Putting it on my chain/Wear it around my neck/I'm taking my freedom/Putting it in my car/Wherever I choose to go/It will take me far. Anyone who sings those lines, has my utmost R.E.S.P.E.C.T. Jill Scott is imposing, and this is not due to her size or weight, but on account of her vocal prowess and yes-I-can attitude. Smashing.

Lhasa de Sela is a very unusual singer (but then again, this is a very unusual blog). The way she sings is ever so tender and affectionate. In this particular song she says the words in French first and then carries on in Spanish. Mesmerising.

Les Nubians were one of the pioneers of the so-called Afropean genre. Born in France, they left for Chad and lived there for seven years, returning to Europe after. Their sound is hard to pin down. Enjoyable.

Last but not least comes Yasmin Levy, an exponent of what is called Ladino music, a mix of Spanish and Jewish music. Ladino culture has survived hundreds of years and Yasmin's voice is testimony to the resilience of its members. Gigantic.

Copyright 2008